“Lately, when I am not thinking about writing a new story about my life, a new fictional story, an inspiration quote, a peom or completing a WordPress daily challenge.
I am am doing this”
After a days long nap on a typical day, exhausting all my daily routines and draining the batteries on my phone, I zone out into a space in my head, where I wonder what has become of my life, why I am so broke, why I do not have a job yet, if I should be investing so much time on my blog/wordpress and why it is so difficult to make money outside getting a white collar job in Nigeria, “also, I wonder why my laptop had to spoil in this crucial moment and how I miss playing fifa 14”.
[Alittle sneak peak into the zoned out space in my head]
It starts by me realising that I now see the world from a different angle, that
The future I used envision for myself all seems like a mirage now, and how
Nothing except to make money interests me.
I then continue by thinking about my long range of wants and needs, and how they all seem to only answer to money, also
I think about how I no longer get excited to write anymore, “no motivation”, and I don’t mean in terms of likes and comments, you guys do a wonderful job at that and I appreciate it.
I also think about how my favourite songs now bore me, and how everyone I know kind of seems distant, “no money, no love I guess”
When I give into the pressure, I say to myself; I can no longer continue to pretend like everything ok “suffering and smiling doesn’t suite me”
I then wonder, if I have lost my game and identify,
Life has really taken a toll on me I ponder.
Help me! Help me!! Help me!!! I scream
“I haven’t been feeling up to write about anything of late as I have been too depressed to write”
Thank you for reading todays post, the above is just the manifestation of my frustrated thoughts in written form.
If you love to give a donation to support bowaleXO, please click here or visit the donation page at the top-right corner of the website for information on how to make a donation. Thank you!!!
Copyright © 2017 by bowaleXO.
All Rights Reserved.