Too Depressed to Write (Behind the Scenes)

“Lately, when I am not thinking about writing a new story about my life, a new fictional story, an inspiration quote, a peom or completing a WordPress daily challenge.
I am am doing this”

⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

After a days long nap on a typical day, exhausting all my daily routines and draining the batteries on my phone, I zone out into a space in my head, where I wonder what has become of my life, why I am so broke, why I do not have a job yet, if I should be investing so much time on my blog/wordpress and why it is so difficult to make money outside getting a white collar job in Nigeria, “also, I wonder why my laptop had to spoil in this crucial moment and how I miss playing fifa 14”.

[Alittle sneak peak into the zoned out space in my head]

It starts by me realising that I now see the world from a different angle, that

The future I used envision for myself all seems like a mirage now, and how

Nothing except to make money interests me.

I then continue by thinking about my long range of wants and needs, and how they all seem to only answer to money, also

I think about how I no longer get excited to write anymore, “no motivation”, and I don’t mean in terms of likes and comments, you guys do a wonderful job at that and I appreciate it.

I also think about how my favourite songs now bore me, and how everyone I know kind of seems distant, “no money, no love I guess”

When I give into the pressure, I say to myself; I can no longer continue to pretend like everything ok “suffering and smiling doesn’t suite me”

I then wonder, if I have lost my game and identify,

Life has really taken a toll on me I ponder.

Help me! Help me!! Help me!!! I scream

▪▪▪▪▪

“I haven’t been feeling up to write about anything of late as I have been too depressed to write”

Thank you for reading todays post, the above is just the manifestation of my frustrated thoughts in written form.


If you love to give a donation to support bowaleXO, please click here or visit the donation page at the top-right corner of the website for information on how to make a donation. Thank you!!!


 

 

Copyright © 2017 by bowaleXO.
All Rights Reserved.

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “Too Depressed to Write (Behind the Scenes)”

  1. Hello my friend,

    we all have bad times.We are humans.We have worries, fears .
    This is normal, and you are normal.You did not lost anything except one bad day.
    You are doing a great job here.Keep it going,Head up because you are the best

    Thank you

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Thinking of you. Just remember ‘If God be for us, who can be against us?’. It’s a wonderful thought to know that some of the best days of our lives are yet to have manifested. Keep pursuing your passion, it will keep you going. Sending my well wishes xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hey, dont give up. There will be another day.
    Look at us here, in the middle of Europe. Not even 3000 citizens, and each year, without any sense, several million euros of EU funding are thrown out of the window.
    They dont want immigration, although the place, even the entire region slowly dies out.
    In the place you can earn money in the with nothing, unless you work almost as a slave in a factory on a machine. Culture is called “Blasmusik” and “Volkstanz”, and with the citizens of the Czech Republic, which is only five kilometers away, it is not allowed to cooperate for political reasons – some people driven out after the WW2, the descendants of them want tot get back land lost as a war reparation.

    Do you feel better now? 😉
    You are in an emerging country, and here is the downfall. Wait a maximum of 10 years, then everything is good.
    Have a great weekend ahead. 😉 Michael

    And if you want to see where we are living, look at http://www.issuu.com/smde. There is a lot of own produced information. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hang in there ! It’s tough to be young, finding your place in the world . Look for opportunities with work and education. It takes a bit of looking and trying , and life can also change quite suddenly ! Keep the spirit .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know how you feel, I understand all of your words in this honestly, you’re gonna get through it. It’s hard but your strong. Your speaking up about it. You understand your feelings better than most ever will. I wish you all the best❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s not easy to make money as an artist! It takes a lot of commitment – and some luck. Also you need to focus on what you really want. If money is the most important thing, you need to find a commercially viable theme. If artistic integrity is crucial for you, there’s no guarantee that you’ll make money. Some artists need to work at another job until they get up and running. Possibly you could turn off the telephone and give up the computer games. Hope that doesn’t sound too unsympathetic – but sympathy doesn’t translate into money either 😉

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s